Far-off lands, deals with the devil and smoke in relation to water...

The past two weeks of my life have been strangely interesting and interestingly strange, all at the same time. The last days of November were spent trying to complete the Herculean task of sorting my entire life out, putting it into itty-bitty boxes, and moving it all from campus to home back in the good old Cape. The reason why I had to endure endless car trips back and forth was mostly due to the fact that I am moving into a university-owned student house, and it only opens halfway through January. This harrowing experience led me to ask the simple question: if the student houses are specifically for the benefit of post-graduate students who have to be on campus for most of the year (even when the undergrads are on holiday), why in god's green earth can we only move into the bloody things after our courses have already started, and why do we have to either arrange for storage of all our stuff on our own expense, or take everything back home??? It doesn't amaze me in the slightest that universities are seen as cradles of intellectualism in their respective communities - but I only wish that they could be cradles of common sense too!

After recuperating at home for a day or two, I left with one of my mates to go on a road trip to Kimberley. Now, generally, one needs no excuse to go on a road trip with friends, but I'm pretty sure that anyone who has ever been to the Northern Cape is probably asking: "Who the hell goes to Kimberley in the middle of the summer?" The reason is simple enough: debating. More specifically, schools debating. Now, before I'm made out to be a paedophile or sad, permit me to say this: After 6 years of fighting for better representation of Boland Debating on a national level, this year was the first year (and quite possibly the last) that the Boland (as part of the Western Cape squad) were allowed to send two of their own teams. We were given one shot to make an impression and show that we were on the same level than the other regions, and I wanted to make sure that we made the best of the opportunity given... Now, for the people who know me through debating and know of my debating history, you'll understand why I am so passionate about this issue. The rest of you probably think I'm still a bit of a sad, pervert... Go figure, I guess! Apart from debating, I also wanted to go look up a couple of old friends I had not seen in a while (maybe that's a slightly better excuse for the rest of you)...

The drive up consisted of several hours of heavy metal (the new Iron Maiden album rocks!), with brief interludes of Handel's 'Messiah,' with us stopping in every single town to survey the area over a quick beer, and turned out to be quite fun, if not incredibly hot. On arrival in Kimberley, we joyously made our way to the Star of the West, the oldest pub in the country (although there is some contention as to whether this is true), for a couple of cold ones. It's amazing to see that, despite the place's age, it doesn't try to hide its true nature - one of the dodgier bars I have been to in my life (and for you know me, you know I've been in some crackers...)! Most of the rest of the week was spent at schools nationals, helping our coaches by doling out sage advice to the young'uns, and adjudicating the odd debate by day, while nights were spent drinking at the Halfway House (also one of the five oldest pubs in the country - I'm glad to say I've been in 3 of the Top 5...) and catching up with everyone I hadn't seen in a while. My partner-in-crime (good ol' Smit) spent most of the week cleaning out everyone who dared play poker against him, and then buying us drinks! The tournament ended up going well for our teams, with one making the quarter-finals (who missed out on the semi's after a deliberation of almost an hour and a half, and a split-panel decision), and the other team barely missing it. Now we'll just see how next year turns out...

The last day in Kimberley was spent seeing some of the local sites, such as the Big Hole and, erm, the Big Hole... It was actually quite interesting, especially now that they're actively trying to restore some of the old parts of Kimberley (or New Rush, as it was called then) and then relocate it to the Big Hole to kind of give you an idea of what it was like back then... A noble goal, if you ask me. Combine that with the sudden onset of vertigo and the reaction on people's faces when they actually see how BIG the hole is, and it's not that bad at all...

Because of the insane heat of the day, Smit and I decided that we would drive back to Cape Town at night. To send us off properly, one of our mates organized a proper Northern Cape braai (tons and tons of meat, unfortunately no booze for us...), where we had a chance to reminisce and shoot the shit one last time. Thanks to my bad luck, that night not only had me bidding adieu to some of my friends, but also to my front tooth, thanks to a particularly well-hidden bone fragment in one of the steaks... Now, some of you should know that one of my front teeth is actually a fake, after having lost the real one several years ago in a bizarre ice-skating incident (if you want to know more, ask me yourself...), so to me it wasn't such a big deal, but it managed to freak out quite a few people on the night! So, thanks to my unexpected Hillbilly Chic makeover, I spent the following 48 hours pretending to be a redneck (until the tooth got rebuilt) while looking like this:

Needless to say, we had a lot of fun freaking people out on the way back! The drive back down to Cape Town was quite interesting. Yet again, most of the trip was spent listening and debating the merits of classic rock. However, what made the journey truly unique was the fact that Smit would stop at everything single landmark and old battlefield, regaling me with stories and reciting old poetry... The man is strange and brilliant, and I'm sure going to miss him next year...

On arriving in the Cape, I was expecting to spend a quiet night at home, when (out of the blue), I was contacted by someone I had not heard from (and to be honest, didn't expect to hear from) in a long time, requesting me to keep her company for the night. So I zipped through to Stellenbosch with a bottle of wine, hoping that we could cook dinner and have a relaxed night of catching up, when we were phoned by her friends and invited to a party. After briefly considering this, we opted to take a raincheck on dinner and go join them. Due to the fact that she didn't have the exact directions as to where the party was, we ended up gate-crashing a bachelor's party where she was mistaken for the stripper! As luck would have it, I ended up knowing the best man, so the explanation and apology wasn't nearly as uncomfortable/painful as it could have been... Long story short, we ended up at the right house, and spent most of the night laughing about what had happened!

Right, so that's that... Until next time, don't be a stranger...

Music Lyric of the Day: "Street cred's not that easy when you're from P.E." - The Finkelstiens (We're not very rock 'n roll)

Arb 80's Trivia of the Day: The only band besides Metallica to win the Grammy for Best Heavy Metal Performance in 1980's, was Jethro Tull. To this day, people have no idea why.

Suggestion of the Day: Go on a road trip with your best mate. While on it, pretend to be someone completely different from who you normally are. It's pretty interesting...

Quote of the Day: But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life, and thanks to a benevolent arrangement the greater part of life is sunshine. - Thomas Jefferson

No pain no gain...

Yes, I'm back, and the exams are finally over! I only a short while I will know whether or not I have attained my second degree... Strangely enough, I'm not exactly stressed about it. I studied hard, and worked harder than I've ever done before, so it's bound to pay off in some respects. Most of the results I've already got back were positive, so it's more a question of time than anything else...

The reason why this post took so long is not necessarily because it's been so incredibly busy, but rather the fact that nothing much has happened. Obviously, it was because everything was studying, which I found to be very weird. Having spent most of the year grinding at my academics, I found the exams to be quite a breeze, and spent most of the time relaxing (much to the annoyance of my flatmates, who were all in a frenzy... Needless to say, with my new relaxed way of approaching studying, I had oodles of time to find something else to do.

Right, so why is the title of the post a reference to an obscure song from the Scorpions? Well, due to the fact that I had so much time on my hands, I decided to convince my future flatmate (I say future flatmate, but he's essentially been squatting in the place for the past month already...) to help me in my endeavours to reinvent myself (refer to previous posts...). BIG mistake. Never ask a guy who used to have national colours in 2 sports to be your personal trainer. Especially if he tends to look and act like the Incredible Hulk (well, if the Incredible Hulk was diabetic and had German blood in him...). For the past three weeks, I have hit the gym for 2 hours, four times a week, and have been eating pretty much nothing but fish, broccoli and salad. Two scary, yet positive things resulting from this:

1) I am losing weight at a rate of knots.

2) I think I'm starting to like broccoli.

Two of the past three weeks have been spent house-sitting for my parents (who went to Spain for birthday treat/2nd honeymoon-type thing) and slowly but surely moving all the stuff out of my flat and back to home... Not a fun process, but it had to be done. After such a long time living on campus, and in a different place, it actually felt weird to have to stay at home for a night. It's pretty damn creepy, especially when alone... Although, it does have its benefits, like a liquor cabinet which is substantially better stocked, a full fridge, a TV that actually works all the time, etc....

Last night, due to serious financial issues (I'm not broke, because several people owe me money, but I just can't seem to squeeze it out of them), I was working as a wine steward at a private party. And what a party this was! The guy, Graham, clearly struck it rich at an early age, but managed to stay humble at the same time. The function consisted of 200 people, approximately ten courses of food (every single course essentially a meal in it's own... Isn't choice a wonderful thing?), two bars (one for cocktails and hard tack, the other for wine), and several other odds and ends... It was quite a cool party, needless to say, but what made it even better is when the bossman told us all to make ourselves at home, grab a drink and some food and join in... There's nothing like a good party, except if you get paid to do it! It did however leave me in a bit of a daze this morning when I had to go fetch the parentals from the airport...

Ho hum, life has been boring... That's about all that's happened to me so far. Sorry, can't even make it sound that interesting. Both ways, Monday I start working on the wine farm for the holiday, and the week after that I'm off to Kimberley (of all places) for some much-deserved (and needed) socialising... Until then, I promise to make the next post less boring...

Music Lyric of the day: "In the land of the pigs, the butcher is king!" (Meat Loaf finally releases Bat ouf of Hell 3!!!)

Arb 80's Trivia of the day: 1987 heralded the birth of ADSL internet, Anime films becoming widespread, the Simpsons (on the Tracy Ullman Show), and VGA graphics... Oh, and my sister. Talk about Karma.

Suggestion of the day: Sing out loudly and jump around like a maniac when you hear a song you like. Your real friends will understand. You only live once.

Quote of the day: "This must be what angels taste like..." - Homer Simpson

Jones in the fast lane (or maybe it's an off-ramp...)

Ladies and gentlemen... I have a job! Actually, I have the equivalent of 1 and 3/4 of a job (2 part-time jobs and another which pays ad hoc). Considering I'm doing my Master's degree next year, I decided to find something to while away some of the time, and which would also enable me to enjoy my life a bit more (and have money for the finer things in life...). So, next year, I shall be maintaining the following odd jobs:

• Research assistant at the Faculty of Law: The pay isn't amazing, but the hours are and the people I work with are incredibly interesting.
• I'll still be working at the wine farm, but more regularly now. It's a good job, very steady, and enough perks (especially now that the management has changed...).
• I am going to do dispute resolution for the rugby academy at one of the Stellenbosch colleges. It's something on the fly, a bit of cash in hand every now and then, and makes perfect sense, seeing as this is what I plan to do with my life one day (hopefully it won't involve people bitching about the red card they got in the previous match, though...).

Right, so that's how I will be funding myself as of next year. Hopefully I will be able to settle the massive debt I have with all the people who bought me drinks this year when I was broke (Ah, Karma!)... Incidentally, this also means I have probably done every single odd job on the planet, including the following:

1. Carwasher (everyone does this at one point in time)
2. Debating coach
3. French Tutor
4. Male model (I shit you not, there was at least one photo shoot...)
5. Selling my soul to a cigarette company (long story, this one)
6. Boxing baby products for a major chain store
7. Legal consultant (refer to previous post)
8. Waiter
9. Radio Presenter (I even won best talk show, at one point in time)
10. Secretary/Paralegal
11. Actor
12. Wine Critic (for an upcoming independent wine website)
13. Babysitter

The list goes on...

Anyway, so I've noticed a prevalence of these little Blog thingies appearing on all my mates' pages, so I though it would be appropriate to let themselves know some arb details about what colour drink I am as well, and all that jazz... So, here goes... Some of these I even find hilarious, if only it's because they're wildly inaccurate (or are they???).

You Are 36% Paranoid Schizophrenic

You're pretty grounded, though you have your occasional paranoid moments. Just make sure to ignore those voices in your head!

Are You A Paranoid Schizophrenic?

Your Lust Quotient: 58%

You are definitely a lustful person, but you do a good job of hiding it. Your friends would be surprised to know that your secretly very wild!

How Much Lust Do You Have?

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Your Sketchiness Factor

You are 47% Sketchy

How Sketchy Are You?

You Scored 65% Correct

You are a solid child of the 80s You'd never confuse Tiffany from Debbie And while you may not know Prince's first #1 hit You know every word to Little Red Corvette

How Much Do You Know About 80s Music?

You Are Spider-Man

Quick and agile, you have killer instincts (literally). And that kind of makes up for the whole creepy spider thing.

What Superhero Are You?

Right, that's about enough of that... Now on to the epilogue...

Music Lyric of the Day: "He doesn't look a thing like Jesus but he talks like a gentleman, like you imagined, when you were young..." (The Killers, "When you were young" - Great song!)

Arb 80's Trivia of the Day: In the 80's, you could wear a "Frankie says Relax" T-shirt without getting shot in the Free State (for being gay) or in the Western Cape (for having no sense of style).

Suggestion of the day: Run around the block once a day. When you live to be 97, you'll thank me... If you can't/won't do that, try to get something published, so that you can at least have something people can always remember you by.

Quote of the day: "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

Word to your mother!

I've always wanted to start a blog like that...

Yes, for those of you who can't believe it, I have finally found the time to blog again! OK, maybe "found the time" isn't the right phrase to use if you're a student, and especially not while you're writing your final, and (obviously) most important, exams to date... But after being told by several people (in person and via email) that they are actually interested in my mind-numbing meanderings (and after being chastised by even Kevin... Hypocrite!) I decided to devote some time to it again, cos I actually liked doing it and there wasn't any particular reason why I stopped in the first place...

Right, so where do I start? Maybe it's only fair to answer some questions that most people will have had, and to give a slight recap of the past six months of my life... After that, we can get some serious ranting going, just the way you all like it... So, let's all hold hands (metaphorically speaking), and drudge through the rollercoaster that has been the last half of my 23rd year of existence...

• The rest of June: I was temporarily employed as a legal consultant much to my own frustration, and was horribly underpaid. Spent a substantial part of the early holiday with my parents, mostly in the northern part of the country, in obscure places like Upington and Kieliekrankie... There was almost never any cellphone signal, so I spent most of my days drinking whiskey, red wine, and reading various books (Ranging from Winnie the Pooh to Plato - I kid you not...). Bliss. Among other things, I also managed to hunt for truffles and actually find some (for those of you who are uninformed, truffles can also be found in arid no man's lands like the Kalahari, and they are almost exactly like the ones found in France, except you have to go look for them yourself but you don't pay through your nose...). All in all, pretty fun! I also discovered that I have the Body Mass Index of a grossly obese person, which had me doubting whether or not the system is actually worth anything... Honestly, am I in denial and on the verge of becoming whale-like, or are all dieticians the karmic equivalent of lawyers?
• The month of July: Most of this month was taken up by sheer drunkenness, debating (read: more drunkenness), the World Cup (why Zidane, why???) and culinary experiences that were out of this world. Debating nationals was fun yet nostalgic at the same time, considering there were only a couple of old hacks, and we were all struggling with the fact that we were getting old and most of us were leaving. It's amazing how people become good friends when they essentially see eachother for only 2-3 weeks max a year. The tournament itself went very well for Stellenbosch: we took 8 out of 9 teams (and all our adjudicators, save one) to the quarter finals, got teams and adjudicators in both finals, and managed to win a couple of awards along the way. Not too bad... Apart from my cellphone getting stolen. After nationals, most of my time was spent recuperating and getting ready for the new term. Apart from that, I had some seriously amazing meals, the most memorable being one where we decided to live like kings, and made a wonderful 5-course meal where each had to contribute something decadent... To give you a rundown: truffles, kudu fillet, caviar, fois gras, french champagne, french Sauterne wine, and enough Stellenbosch red wine to kill a small giraffe... It was a series of orgasms on little green plates...
• August: Ho hum... a boring month. Way too routine. A couple of bouts of pub quiz, a round or two at the wine farm. Not even a proper academic challenge. The only thing that happened in this month is that I had to say goodbye to someone I had come very close to during the last year or so. But even that goodbye, in retrospect, has me filled with mixed emotions. I love her to bits, and probably will carry on loving her, but she hurt me in several ways, and definitely left some wounds, of which hopefully none will end up scarring over. I don't hold grudges, and I always forgive, but that doesn't mean it didn't leave me tender.
• September: The month was spent building relationships, strangely enough. I got to know some people in my class better, and ended up becoming mates with them. I spent some time (either physically, or in digital format, when it comes to the ones who are abroad) with friends I hadn't seen or heard from in a while. The mad Irishman was down, and plenty of fun was had by all. I also met his new girlfriend, a very nice woman who (oddly enough) reminds me of my mother... Here's praying the O' Connor doesn't take this in the wrong way and tries to kill me next time he's down... Tim also, quite bluntly, told me that my fears of the great BMI conspiracy (as mentioned earlier) are unfounded, as I had indeed gotten pudgy.
• October: What a weird month. One of emotional death and rebirth, essentially. On my 23rd birthday, I had the equivalent of a nervous breakdown, triggered by the onslaught of the facts that I was getting older, all my friends were leaving while I was staying to do my Master's, I had never had a meaningful relationship in my life (only a series of flings which ended up expiring within 3 months), and that I was definitely pudgy (Damn you, Timothy!!!). Subsequently, I spent 4 days of my life dealing with issues that were neither dead nor well-buried, all the time while consuming bottle after bottle of whiskey. I came out of that time with new resolve, and decided to hit life head on. My academics ended up going extremely well (according to my standards, at least), I went on a exercise and eating programme (it's going well, so far), and for the first time in a long time, I am genuinely happy. People tell me I look different, and I must say that I feel slightly different. I guess Nietzsche is right: that which does not kill only makes you stronger...Apart from my Damascene experience, I also spent an obscene amount of time with the Women Of Stellenbosch Debating (Calendar appearing soon...), and ended up with a fair amount of juicy gossip, politicking experience (these chicks should run the country, honestly!), and incredibly funny quotes (to follow shortly)... Oh, and the exams have started, yet again...
• November: Right, nothing to report so far. Except for the fact that I saw an old friend from Grahamstown for the first time in a long time, and ended up having an amazing night with her and Hawk. Tash, you are a truly remarkable person (for a woman on the run from the US Government)... Enjoy the wine!!!

Right, so that covers my life, I hope you all feel better now...

And now (drum roll, please), a selection of quotes from my nights spent with the all-powerful W.O.S.D... In order to avoid getting sued, I'll either not name the person who said the quote, or try to give it the proper context...

"I was really shy until grade six, and then I got fat..." - I honestly don't want to know what this means... (maybe she meant PHAT?)

"It's okay, I'm wearing really big panties!" - Anja is weird.

"If looks could kill, I'd be fucked four times over!" - My cousin enrages one of the W.O.S.D.

"I got groped by a lesbian once..." - Yet again, Anja is weird.

"Excuse, but I've given Wits nothing but pleasure." - Our chair loves her little innuendos...

"I so owe him a blowjob by the end of the week..." - Our chair believes in returning favours, apparently.

"So who hasn't slept in Koornhof's bed, honestly?" - I reserve comment on this one.

And many more... All can be found at Fridge Quotes! Check it out...

Right, now for the old traditional ending...

Music Lyric of the day: "I went to church incognito, and everybody rose! The reverend Smith he recognised me, and punched me in the nose!" (Alice Cooper, "No more Mr Nice Guy" - this is the song I listened to non-stop during my breakdown...)

Arb 80's trivia of the day: Madonna has always had that gap in her teeth. She just used to hide it better.

Suggestion of the day: Everyone should, at several points in your life, reassess one's life and try to improve a thing or two. When you do this, please stay away from all sharp objects.

Quote of the Day: "Sorry, he can't talk right now, he's naked and tied to my bed..." (Tash Joseph is a living legend...)

Mixed drinks and mixed signals...

Back at last! The exams are over, most of the marks are in (things didn't go too badly, for a change), and my life can continue hurtling itself on which ever path fate/karma/(Enter deity of choice here) has assigned to me...

Right, so as you can guess, academics has taken up the largest chunk of my time in the past two weeks. Most of that time involved mainlining caffeine and reading textbooks, and getting the occasional hour or two of sleep in at night... The only times we left the house was to actually physically write tests, with the one exception being me having dinner with an old friend who's back in the country for a while. That’s it. Boring, I know. So, now that i've essentially summated my life of the preceding fortnight, let us continue and focus on what happened AFTER the exams ended...

Last Wednesday was a welcome change to the monotony that my life had become up until that point. By eleven o’ clock the pens were down, the books we’re closed (until the next time, that is), and the first beer was opened. After driving through to Cape Town to have a well-deserved celebratory lunch, plans were made for the evening, in order to ensure the deepest possible impact made on town and to reclaim the social lives that were so rightfully ours. However, as my luck would have it, my flatmate failed a subject, decided to go drown his sorrows, and subsequently forgot that he had to take one of his mates to the airport the next morning. This resulted in my night getting dramatically cut short, and having to wake up at 5 o’ clock (why, oh why, does it always have to be the red eye???).

My leaving early turned out to be a bit of a blessing in disguise, seeing as how events that transpired that night would have mentally scarred me for life (two of my friends ended up scoring, and both are pissed off at me due to this, though for different reasons… Go figure!)… Thursday was spent (for everyone but me) in a wonderful post-hangover glow, and most of the day was spent eating pizza, drinking ginger beer (works almost as well as cream soda for that mushy feeling your brain gets…) and watching corny 80’s horror movies (Chucky is a legend!). The day was cut short by a power outage (yes… they’re back!!!! Dum dum dum…), but luckily came back on just in time for pub quiz. Unmotivated (we had missed the previous week’s round due to exams, which effectively put us out of running for the grand prize) and undermanned (there was only three of us instead of the usual 8), we managed to pull off a minor miracle won decisively for the first time in over a month. As can be expected, celebration and merriment ensued…

Friday I was greeted with the hangover I didn’t get, but apparently deserved (karmically speaking), from Wednesday night, and all plans that involved moving were subsequently dropped from the schedule until further notice… Honestly, I have no idea what I would do with myself were it not for take-aways and entire season dvd-collections of the West Wing. After hours of intense planning and strategy (no consultants were harmed, mind you), I finally made the move towards getting up just long enough to drag my carcass to the bar so that I could watch the opening match of the World Cup…

Upon arriving at the bar, I found that it had been invaded by, of all things, actuaries (yes!). Turns out the flatmate had invited some friends over, and several (bad… BAD!!!!) jokes about the probability of Germany losing (and the risk management of betting pools) later, I had already decided to kill myself with brandy. Don’t get me wrong, these people were all very friendly and (amazingly) sociable, but there’s still something weird about ten (mostly single) twenty-something guys in one room who all send off a ‘happily married and almost retired’ vibe… After having established a pretty strong buzz, I was keen for a bit more of the same ol’ same ol’ (I never learn…) and hit the town.

The town ended up being pretty quiet for a Friday, but just as I was ready to call it a day, I was called (by the Prins of Mayhem himself…) to join him at The Upper Level (the new swanky part of the old Drunken Springbok pub) to watch Fokofpolisiekar (an incredibly talent local punk band who sings exclusively in Afrikaans, for the people who don’t know). Funnily enough, due to the fact that I was in several schools in my life (LONG story for another day), I actually went to school with three of the band members at one point in time. What was even funnier is that they all remembered me and greeted me on sight (yes, it does feel cool being me sometimes…). Needless to say, the rest of the night became completely derailed when the lead guitarist and I tried to kill each other with Stroh rum and Sambuca… Nevertheless, it’s definitely fun not having to pay for drinks and getting women who actually hit on you! Maybe I should dust off the old guitar (I can imagine a thousand people holding their breath at this very moment)…

Saturday was spent spring cleaning the flat, the bar (and certain parts of my car, thanks to rockstar excess…), and a generally relaxed day was held by all. We invited the squad going to debating nationals around for a party, and amidst the soccer and the company a merry time was had by all. The following morning I awoke stiff and covered with bruises due to the fact that I had tried to, among other things, breakdance and put my legs behind my head… On both accounts I failed, though came closer than I thought possible for me!

Right, so that concludes my account of the four drunk days après mon examen. Currently, I am at home slowly but surely recuperating from the self-inflicted torture my liver has had to endure, watching soccer (a recurring theme for the next couple of weeks), eating biltong (it’s that time of the year…), drinking tea, and doing everything I didn’t have time for during the past semester (i.e. watching movies and reading a ton of books).

The one problem with staying at home for extended periods is the fact that someone will eventually figure out that I have more free time than them. In fact, since I wasn’t hiding my non-activity well enough, the entire family has been trying to exploit me around every corner… At the moment, I’m running around for my dad fetching wine, cooking for my mom when she’s not in the mood, and helping my sis study for an online psychology course she’s taking (clearly the whole summer holiday in winter doesn’t work that well for her…).

Oh well, that’s enough for now… Join me next time for a rant (yes, I think it’s about time) about mid-winter, and the Body Mass Index scale…

Until then…

Music Lyric of the day: “You may be right! I may be crazy! But I just might be the lunatic you’re lookin’ for…” (Billy Joel, You may be right)

Arb 80’s trivia of the day: Weirdly enough, the most successful NBA basketball team of the decade was the Boston Celtics.

Suggestion of the day: Next time you’re at a restaurant, or want to cook something nice, try something you’ve never tried before.

Quote of the day: “Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” (Ernest Hemingway)

10 Points behind...

To start off, I stumbled upon one of the greatest websites ever!!! It's a parody of 80's culture, done in a really neat way...

www.homestarrunner.com

Everyone loves the Homestar Runner... He is a terrific athlete!

It's the first week of the exams, I've only had to write one subject so far, and it was by far the most annoying thing I've had to endure the entire week - Somewhere between condescendingly easy and soul-numbingly boring (I think I just made up those two words, but oh well...). However, as of tomorrow, the exams start heating up... So, for the sake of every living thing in this world and Betelgeuse, I will not talk about academics...

By far the most interesting thing that happened this week was due to, yet again, pub quiz. It seems my life (and my blog, damn it all...) is starting to fall into this quagmire of routine - drink, play pub quiz, drink some more, study for tests, (you guessed it...) drink again, hand in assignments, yadda yadda yadda... Mind you, at least it's not a completely monotonous schedule, as I have a lot of opportunities (the ones involving drinking, mostly) where I get to meet new people and have weird little adventures, so I'm okay at least.

For the past four weeks, our performance at pub quiz has been average, according to our standards at least. Halfway through the grand championship, we remain squarely in fourth position on the league, ten points behind the current top team, and it's starting to get annoying. If we don't manage to pull a rabbit out of a hat soon, I'll have to resort to much more dirty tactics... After pub quiz, we all decided to go out for a spot of dancing and a (twenty-third) quiet drink to end off the day. Strangely enough, with our luck being as it is, we walked into a bar (good ol' Springbok Pub) which was hosting some guy's birthday party. This particular individual had also had the good nature to subsidise the entire bar, meaning that EVERYTHING was half-price... Needless to say, a fun time was had by all! Later that night, I happened to be introduced to the birthday boy, who freaked out when he heard my name (maybe he knew me in a previous life, or maybe my name just has that effect on people who come from the old Transvaal...) and subsequently bought me drinks for the entire night... Was it not for the fact that he ALSO introduced me to his girlfriend, I would have been seriously worried...

After waking up feeling thoroughly unperky the next day, I proceeded to study for the last part of that damned test. After writing on saturday morning, the entire population of Simonsrust 33 (our flat) went into hibernation, only to wake up for the occasional meal and beverage... A fun, though somewhat lethargic, time was had by all!

Today was one of those particularly weird days, and for which you all need a bit of history in order to fully understand the context. My father was a politician for almost 20 years. In that time, he was on the verge of bankruptcy at least twice, was involved in several landmark court cases (luckily, he never got sued), was the adviser to a former president (and also met several others from abroad), walked next to Nelson Mandela and Tokyo Sexwale on the day they were freed, served in a provincial cabinet, and also managed to score a try on both ends of the field at Rugby School in Wales (the spiritual birthplace of rugby, for those of who are not that familiar to the sport...). Needless to say, he's done a lot of interesting things, and met even more interesting people, through the course of his life. Hell, if he decides to write a book one day, I might even read it (well, definitely the first draft, despite everything the man's grammar and spelling has never been the best)!

One of my father's more interesting friends, Jorrie, is a self-made multi-millionaire whom he met while studying at university. This is a guy who was failing his accounting degree, and who was being kicked out of university, who then promptly walked into the Vice-chancellor's office and refused to leave until he was allowed to state his case. As a sign of the man's tenacity, not only was he let back to finish his degree, but he also attained it Cum Laude the second time around! Also, on his 47th birthday, he rented an entire wine farm for a weekend, along with several chefs and a philharmonic orchestra, so that he could amuse his friends with Frank Sinatra and Elvis Costello covers while they ate 5-course meals! A truly, truly unique individual...

So, now that we've given more than enough context, back to the story. When I woke up this morning to drive through to the folks' place, I was called and given orders to go to Jorrie's place, as we were invited for lunch. On my arrival there (at just before noon), a glass of Moët & Chandon was thrusted into my hand, and the party kicked off properly. After imbibing several bottles of wine (the cost of which I never want to calculate), and eating at least 2 endangered species (PETA supporters, I beg you not to lynch me), we were treated to the musical stylings of one Rocco de Villiers (a South African pianist, essentially our answer to Elton John, though not nearly as famous, for obvious reasons) as he debuted his new album in the living room... A truly fun, truly surreal, day.

Right, I'm off, need to actually do some studying today, unfortunately... Until next time, I leave you with the following:

Music Lyric of the day: "Daar's fokken baie fokkol in Suid-Afrika!" (Koos Kombuis, Fokkol) - Thought it's about time I put an Afrikaans lyric up on the blog... For the people who don't speak Afrikaans, the song (which is brand new, and can be downloaded free on his blog...) is essentially a satire of the state of the nation.

Arb 80's Trivia of the day: In 1982, the United States Center for Disease Control officially renames GRIDS (Gay-related Immuno-deficiency Syndrome) to AIDS, and recognises it as a serious health problem for the world.

Suggestion of the day: Always read the book before seeing the movie.

Quote of the day: "Without wearing any mask we are conscious of, we have a special face for each friend." - Oliver Wendell Holmes (Makes you think...)

Sartrean Hell...

Right, after having posted nothing in 3 weeks, I think I can afford a second one in a week... The exams start on tuesday, and 3 weeks after that I will finally have my freedom! Got most of my preliminary marks back so far, and it seems that the whole academic makeover seems to have paid off to a relative extent... Now all I have to do is make good on the real thing, and my life is a joy.

On Friday, our school class (2001) had our 5-year reunion. Honestly, I didn't understand why anyone would want to arrange a reunion after just 5 years, but I still went (partly as a matter of principle, and partly as an excuse to party). It was quite an informal thing, and a lot of fun! I was amazed to see so many people which I hadn't seen or even thought for the first time in half a decade. It's good to see that I'm not the only one that needs to shed a couple of pounds, and it's even better to see that a lot of people have changed for the better... There are always these guys at school where you can't help but think "Do you not realise what you are doing to yourselves???? WAKE UP!!!" and it's nice to see that some of them actually started figuring things out for themselves. Anyway, enough sentimentalism... We all ended up in De Akker (for those not native to Stellenbosch or South Africa, De Akker is the 2nd oldest pub in the country...) after several rounds of human bowling (you're the ball, and any other objects that can be lined up, be they inanimate or not, are the pins) and way too much brandy. After leisurely, erm, strolling out of De Akker (at roughly 4AM), I had to be at work at the farm by half past eight... Needless to say, I didn't exactly arrive on time, but thankfully it was a slow day and nothing had happened up until then.

Right, so I guess it's finally time to explain the title of the post...

For those of you who are not familiar with the work of French existentialist philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre (and I won't blame you if you aren't), and more specifically his play 'No Exit,' the concept of Sartrean Hell is pretty simple to explain: Hell, seen in the simplest of ways, is other people. More specifically, it is being thrown in a situation which would normally be seen as quite pleasurable, if not for something wrong (be it a state of mind or body, or even a piece of annoying furniture), and having no way to escape from it. How does this relate to my saturday? Well, read on...

The more astute among you might have figured out that doing anything while hungover is not exactly the most fun or the best idea in the world. Being forced to work in a place literally filled to the brim with alcoholic beverages, while having to deal with customers (mostly swedish and german tourists who can't understand english) who refuse to leave (even after you've helped them) even though you technically closed 45 minutes ago, all of the while feeling like there's an elephant trampling on your medulla oblongata, is not exactly what I would call Nirvana...

Right, OK, most of you might have figured out that the above would happen, but you'd never guess how the story ends... Yesterday evening was also my ex-girlfriend's birthday party. A formal event. On a wine farm. Now, I get along very well with this particular ex-girlfriend (we broke it off quite cleanly while still maintaing friendly contact), but the thought of dressing up in a penguin suit only to be marched around at yet another wine farm with some of her friends giving me hateful glances, and while having to endure her other friends constant talk of web designing was anything but alluring. Strangely enough for myself, I spent most of the evening in a corner drinking orange juice (I couldn't torture myself a 3rd night in a row), eating cocktail sausages and talking to her sister. Oh well, go figure...

Drove through this morning to the folks' place for the traditional massive sunday lunch (the extended family had been invited again, this time my dad's side...), a couple of glasses of very good wine (both my uncle and cousin are winemakers, and I felt suitably recuperated), and the traditional weekly rant/debate (this time about stock options, weirdly enough). Always fun... Oh well, now I'm off to go study yet again...

Oh, in other news, apparently a Finnish Heavy Metal band named Lordi, who like dressing up in ridiculous monster suits, recently won the Eurovision song contest with the highest score in the tournament's history... Take that, ABBA!!! Here's a photo of them.



Music Lyric of the day: "The saints are crippled / On this sinners’ night / Lost are the lambs with no guiding light / The walls come down like thunder / The rocks about to roll / It’s the Arockalypse / Now bare your soul!" (From Lordi's Eurovision winning song 'Hard Rock Hallelujah... Weird.)

Arb 80's trivia of the day: Only three artists in music history have had seven or more Billboard Top 10 singles to feature on one studio album, namely Bruce Springsteen (Born in the USA, 1984), Michael Jackson (Thriller, 1982) and Janet Jackson (Rhythm Nation, 1989)... And people say they had bad taste in everything back then! :-P

Suggestion of the day: If you don't know yet, find out what your name means in other languages... Don't make the mistake Tom Cruise made!

Quote of the day: "If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses." (Lenny Bruce) - Think about that for a moment...