Far-off lands, deals with the devil and smoke in relation to water...

The past two weeks of my life have been strangely interesting and interestingly strange, all at the same time. The last days of November were spent trying to complete the Herculean task of sorting my entire life out, putting it into itty-bitty boxes, and moving it all from campus to home back in the good old Cape. The reason why I had to endure endless car trips back and forth was mostly due to the fact that I am moving into a university-owned student house, and it only opens halfway through January. This harrowing experience led me to ask the simple question: if the student houses are specifically for the benefit of post-graduate students who have to be on campus for most of the year (even when the undergrads are on holiday), why in god's green earth can we only move into the bloody things after our courses have already started, and why do we have to either arrange for storage of all our stuff on our own expense, or take everything back home??? It doesn't amaze me in the slightest that universities are seen as cradles of intellectualism in their respective communities - but I only wish that they could be cradles of common sense too!

After recuperating at home for a day or two, I left with one of my mates to go on a road trip to Kimberley. Now, generally, one needs no excuse to go on a road trip with friends, but I'm pretty sure that anyone who has ever been to the Northern Cape is probably asking: "Who the hell goes to Kimberley in the middle of the summer?" The reason is simple enough: debating. More specifically, schools debating. Now, before I'm made out to be a paedophile or sad, permit me to say this: After 6 years of fighting for better representation of Boland Debating on a national level, this year was the first year (and quite possibly the last) that the Boland (as part of the Western Cape squad) were allowed to send two of their own teams. We were given one shot to make an impression and show that we were on the same level than the other regions, and I wanted to make sure that we made the best of the opportunity given... Now, for the people who know me through debating and know of my debating history, you'll understand why I am so passionate about this issue. The rest of you probably think I'm still a bit of a sad, pervert... Go figure, I guess! Apart from debating, I also wanted to go look up a couple of old friends I had not seen in a while (maybe that's a slightly better excuse for the rest of you)...

The drive up consisted of several hours of heavy metal (the new Iron Maiden album rocks!), with brief interludes of Handel's 'Messiah,' with us stopping in every single town to survey the area over a quick beer, and turned out to be quite fun, if not incredibly hot. On arrival in Kimberley, we joyously made our way to the Star of the West, the oldest pub in the country (although there is some contention as to whether this is true), for a couple of cold ones. It's amazing to see that, despite the place's age, it doesn't try to hide its true nature - one of the dodgier bars I have been to in my life (and for you know me, you know I've been in some crackers...)! Most of the rest of the week was spent at schools nationals, helping our coaches by doling out sage advice to the young'uns, and adjudicating the odd debate by day, while nights were spent drinking at the Halfway House (also one of the five oldest pubs in the country - I'm glad to say I've been in 3 of the Top 5...) and catching up with everyone I hadn't seen in a while. My partner-in-crime (good ol' Smit) spent most of the week cleaning out everyone who dared play poker against him, and then buying us drinks! The tournament ended up going well for our teams, with one making the quarter-finals (who missed out on the semi's after a deliberation of almost an hour and a half, and a split-panel decision), and the other team barely missing it. Now we'll just see how next year turns out...

The last day in Kimberley was spent seeing some of the local sites, such as the Big Hole and, erm, the Big Hole... It was actually quite interesting, especially now that they're actively trying to restore some of the old parts of Kimberley (or New Rush, as it was called then) and then relocate it to the Big Hole to kind of give you an idea of what it was like back then... A noble goal, if you ask me. Combine that with the sudden onset of vertigo and the reaction on people's faces when they actually see how BIG the hole is, and it's not that bad at all...

Because of the insane heat of the day, Smit and I decided that we would drive back to Cape Town at night. To send us off properly, one of our mates organized a proper Northern Cape braai (tons and tons of meat, unfortunately no booze for us...), where we had a chance to reminisce and shoot the shit one last time. Thanks to my bad luck, that night not only had me bidding adieu to some of my friends, but also to my front tooth, thanks to a particularly well-hidden bone fragment in one of the steaks... Now, some of you should know that one of my front teeth is actually a fake, after having lost the real one several years ago in a bizarre ice-skating incident (if you want to know more, ask me yourself...), so to me it wasn't such a big deal, but it managed to freak out quite a few people on the night! So, thanks to my unexpected Hillbilly Chic makeover, I spent the following 48 hours pretending to be a redneck (until the tooth got rebuilt) while looking like this:

Needless to say, we had a lot of fun freaking people out on the way back! The drive back down to Cape Town was quite interesting. Yet again, most of the trip was spent listening and debating the merits of classic rock. However, what made the journey truly unique was the fact that Smit would stop at everything single landmark and old battlefield, regaling me with stories and reciting old poetry... The man is strange and brilliant, and I'm sure going to miss him next year...

On arriving in the Cape, I was expecting to spend a quiet night at home, when (out of the blue), I was contacted by someone I had not heard from (and to be honest, didn't expect to hear from) in a long time, requesting me to keep her company for the night. So I zipped through to Stellenbosch with a bottle of wine, hoping that we could cook dinner and have a relaxed night of catching up, when we were phoned by her friends and invited to a party. After briefly considering this, we opted to take a raincheck on dinner and go join them. Due to the fact that she didn't have the exact directions as to where the party was, we ended up gate-crashing a bachelor's party where she was mistaken for the stripper! As luck would have it, I ended up knowing the best man, so the explanation and apology wasn't nearly as uncomfortable/painful as it could have been... Long story short, we ended up at the right house, and spent most of the night laughing about what had happened!

Right, so that's that... Until next time, don't be a stranger...

Music Lyric of the Day: "Street cred's not that easy when you're from P.E." - The Finkelstiens (We're not very rock 'n roll)

Arb 80's Trivia of the Day: The only band besides Metallica to win the Grammy for Best Heavy Metal Performance in 1980's, was Jethro Tull. To this day, people have no idea why.

Suggestion of the Day: Go on a road trip with your best mate. While on it, pretend to be someone completely different from who you normally are. It's pretty interesting...

Quote of the Day: But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life, and thanks to a benevolent arrangement the greater part of life is sunshine. - Thomas Jefferson

No pain no gain...

Yes, I'm back, and the exams are finally over! I only a short while I will know whether or not I have attained my second degree... Strangely enough, I'm not exactly stressed about it. I studied hard, and worked harder than I've ever done before, so it's bound to pay off in some respects. Most of the results I've already got back were positive, so it's more a question of time than anything else...

The reason why this post took so long is not necessarily because it's been so incredibly busy, but rather the fact that nothing much has happened. Obviously, it was because everything was studying, which I found to be very weird. Having spent most of the year grinding at my academics, I found the exams to be quite a breeze, and spent most of the time relaxing (much to the annoyance of my flatmates, who were all in a frenzy... Needless to say, with my new relaxed way of approaching studying, I had oodles of time to find something else to do.

Right, so why is the title of the post a reference to an obscure song from the Scorpions? Well, due to the fact that I had so much time on my hands, I decided to convince my future flatmate (I say future flatmate, but he's essentially been squatting in the place for the past month already...) to help me in my endeavours to reinvent myself (refer to previous posts...). BIG mistake. Never ask a guy who used to have national colours in 2 sports to be your personal trainer. Especially if he tends to look and act like the Incredible Hulk (well, if the Incredible Hulk was diabetic and had German blood in him...). For the past three weeks, I have hit the gym for 2 hours, four times a week, and have been eating pretty much nothing but fish, broccoli and salad. Two scary, yet positive things resulting from this:

1) I am losing weight at a rate of knots.

2) I think I'm starting to like broccoli.

Two of the past three weeks have been spent house-sitting for my parents (who went to Spain for birthday treat/2nd honeymoon-type thing) and slowly but surely moving all the stuff out of my flat and back to home... Not a fun process, but it had to be done. After such a long time living on campus, and in a different place, it actually felt weird to have to stay at home for a night. It's pretty damn creepy, especially when alone... Although, it does have its benefits, like a liquor cabinet which is substantially better stocked, a full fridge, a TV that actually works all the time, etc....

Last night, due to serious financial issues (I'm not broke, because several people owe me money, but I just can't seem to squeeze it out of them), I was working as a wine steward at a private party. And what a party this was! The guy, Graham, clearly struck it rich at an early age, but managed to stay humble at the same time. The function consisted of 200 people, approximately ten courses of food (every single course essentially a meal in it's own... Isn't choice a wonderful thing?), two bars (one for cocktails and hard tack, the other for wine), and several other odds and ends... It was quite a cool party, needless to say, but what made it even better is when the bossman told us all to make ourselves at home, grab a drink and some food and join in... There's nothing like a good party, except if you get paid to do it! It did however leave me in a bit of a daze this morning when I had to go fetch the parentals from the airport...

Ho hum, life has been boring... That's about all that's happened to me so far. Sorry, can't even make it sound that interesting. Both ways, Monday I start working on the wine farm for the holiday, and the week after that I'm off to Kimberley (of all places) for some much-deserved (and needed) socialising... Until then, I promise to make the next post less boring...

Music Lyric of the day: "In the land of the pigs, the butcher is king!" (Meat Loaf finally releases Bat ouf of Hell 3!!!)

Arb 80's Trivia of the day: 1987 heralded the birth of ADSL internet, Anime films becoming widespread, the Simpsons (on the Tracy Ullman Show), and VGA graphics... Oh, and my sister. Talk about Karma.

Suggestion of the day: Sing out loudly and jump around like a maniac when you hear a song you like. Your real friends will understand. You only live once.

Quote of the day: "This must be what angels taste like..." - Homer Simpson

Jones in the fast lane (or maybe it's an off-ramp...)

Ladies and gentlemen... I have a job! Actually, I have the equivalent of 1 and 3/4 of a job (2 part-time jobs and another which pays ad hoc). Considering I'm doing my Master's degree next year, I decided to find something to while away some of the time, and which would also enable me to enjoy my life a bit more (and have money for the finer things in life...). So, next year, I shall be maintaining the following odd jobs:

• Research assistant at the Faculty of Law: The pay isn't amazing, but the hours are and the people I work with are incredibly interesting.
• I'll still be working at the wine farm, but more regularly now. It's a good job, very steady, and enough perks (especially now that the management has changed...).
• I am going to do dispute resolution for the rugby academy at one of the Stellenbosch colleges. It's something on the fly, a bit of cash in hand every now and then, and makes perfect sense, seeing as this is what I plan to do with my life one day (hopefully it won't involve people bitching about the red card they got in the previous match, though...).

Right, so that's how I will be funding myself as of next year. Hopefully I will be able to settle the massive debt I have with all the people who bought me drinks this year when I was broke (Ah, Karma!)... Incidentally, this also means I have probably done every single odd job on the planet, including the following:

1. Carwasher (everyone does this at one point in time)
2. Debating coach
3. French Tutor
4. Male model (I shit you not, there was at least one photo shoot...)
5. Selling my soul to a cigarette company (long story, this one)
6. Boxing baby products for a major chain store
7. Legal consultant (refer to previous post)
8. Waiter
9. Radio Presenter (I even won best talk show, at one point in time)
10. Secretary/Paralegal
11. Actor
12. Wine Critic (for an upcoming independent wine website)
13. Babysitter

The list goes on...

Anyway, so I've noticed a prevalence of these little Blog thingies appearing on all my mates' pages, so I though it would be appropriate to let themselves know some arb details about what colour drink I am as well, and all that jazz... So, here goes... Some of these I even find hilarious, if only it's because they're wildly inaccurate (or are they???).

You Are 36% Paranoid Schizophrenic

You're pretty grounded, though you have your occasional paranoid moments. Just make sure to ignore those voices in your head!

Are You A Paranoid Schizophrenic?

Your Lust Quotient: 58%

You are definitely a lustful person, but you do a good job of hiding it. Your friends would be surprised to know that your secretly very wild!

How Much Lust Do You Have?

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Your Sketchiness Factor

You are 47% Sketchy

How Sketchy Are You?

You Scored 65% Correct

You are a solid child of the 80s You'd never confuse Tiffany from Debbie And while you may not know Prince's first #1 hit You know every word to Little Red Corvette

How Much Do You Know About 80s Music?

You Are Spider-Man

Quick and agile, you have killer instincts (literally). And that kind of makes up for the whole creepy spider thing.

What Superhero Are You?

Right, that's about enough of that... Now on to the epilogue...

Music Lyric of the Day: "He doesn't look a thing like Jesus but he talks like a gentleman, like you imagined, when you were young..." (The Killers, "When you were young" - Great song!)

Arb 80's Trivia of the Day: In the 80's, you could wear a "Frankie says Relax" T-shirt without getting shot in the Free State (for being gay) or in the Western Cape (for having no sense of style).

Suggestion of the day: Run around the block once a day. When you live to be 97, you'll thank me... If you can't/won't do that, try to get something published, so that you can at least have something people can always remember you by.

Quote of the day: "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

Word to your mother!

I've always wanted to start a blog like that...

Yes, for those of you who can't believe it, I have finally found the time to blog again! OK, maybe "found the time" isn't the right phrase to use if you're a student, and especially not while you're writing your final, and (obviously) most important, exams to date... But after being told by several people (in person and via email) that they are actually interested in my mind-numbing meanderings (and after being chastised by even Kevin... Hypocrite!) I decided to devote some time to it again, cos I actually liked doing it and there wasn't any particular reason why I stopped in the first place...

Right, so where do I start? Maybe it's only fair to answer some questions that most people will have had, and to give a slight recap of the past six months of my life... After that, we can get some serious ranting going, just the way you all like it... So, let's all hold hands (metaphorically speaking), and drudge through the rollercoaster that has been the last half of my 23rd year of existence...

• The rest of June: I was temporarily employed as a legal consultant much to my own frustration, and was horribly underpaid. Spent a substantial part of the early holiday with my parents, mostly in the northern part of the country, in obscure places like Upington and Kieliekrankie... There was almost never any cellphone signal, so I spent most of my days drinking whiskey, red wine, and reading various books (Ranging from Winnie the Pooh to Plato - I kid you not...). Bliss. Among other things, I also managed to hunt for truffles and actually find some (for those of you who are uninformed, truffles can also be found in arid no man's lands like the Kalahari, and they are almost exactly like the ones found in France, except you have to go look for them yourself but you don't pay through your nose...). All in all, pretty fun! I also discovered that I have the Body Mass Index of a grossly obese person, which had me doubting whether or not the system is actually worth anything... Honestly, am I in denial and on the verge of becoming whale-like, or are all dieticians the karmic equivalent of lawyers?
• The month of July: Most of this month was taken up by sheer drunkenness, debating (read: more drunkenness), the World Cup (why Zidane, why???) and culinary experiences that were out of this world. Debating nationals was fun yet nostalgic at the same time, considering there were only a couple of old hacks, and we were all struggling with the fact that we were getting old and most of us were leaving. It's amazing how people become good friends when they essentially see eachother for only 2-3 weeks max a year. The tournament itself went very well for Stellenbosch: we took 8 out of 9 teams (and all our adjudicators, save one) to the quarter finals, got teams and adjudicators in both finals, and managed to win a couple of awards along the way. Not too bad... Apart from my cellphone getting stolen. After nationals, most of my time was spent recuperating and getting ready for the new term. Apart from that, I had some seriously amazing meals, the most memorable being one where we decided to live like kings, and made a wonderful 5-course meal where each had to contribute something decadent... To give you a rundown: truffles, kudu fillet, caviar, fois gras, french champagne, french Sauterne wine, and enough Stellenbosch red wine to kill a small giraffe... It was a series of orgasms on little green plates...
• August: Ho hum... a boring month. Way too routine. A couple of bouts of pub quiz, a round or two at the wine farm. Not even a proper academic challenge. The only thing that happened in this month is that I had to say goodbye to someone I had come very close to during the last year or so. But even that goodbye, in retrospect, has me filled with mixed emotions. I love her to bits, and probably will carry on loving her, but she hurt me in several ways, and definitely left some wounds, of which hopefully none will end up scarring over. I don't hold grudges, and I always forgive, but that doesn't mean it didn't leave me tender.
• September: The month was spent building relationships, strangely enough. I got to know some people in my class better, and ended up becoming mates with them. I spent some time (either physically, or in digital format, when it comes to the ones who are abroad) with friends I hadn't seen or heard from in a while. The mad Irishman was down, and plenty of fun was had by all. I also met his new girlfriend, a very nice woman who (oddly enough) reminds me of my mother... Here's praying the O' Connor doesn't take this in the wrong way and tries to kill me next time he's down... Tim also, quite bluntly, told me that my fears of the great BMI conspiracy (as mentioned earlier) are unfounded, as I had indeed gotten pudgy.
• October: What a weird month. One of emotional death and rebirth, essentially. On my 23rd birthday, I had the equivalent of a nervous breakdown, triggered by the onslaught of the facts that I was getting older, all my friends were leaving while I was staying to do my Master's, I had never had a meaningful relationship in my life (only a series of flings which ended up expiring within 3 months), and that I was definitely pudgy (Damn you, Timothy!!!). Subsequently, I spent 4 days of my life dealing with issues that were neither dead nor well-buried, all the time while consuming bottle after bottle of whiskey. I came out of that time with new resolve, and decided to hit life head on. My academics ended up going extremely well (according to my standards, at least), I went on a exercise and eating programme (it's going well, so far), and for the first time in a long time, I am genuinely happy. People tell me I look different, and I must say that I feel slightly different. I guess Nietzsche is right: that which does not kill only makes you stronger...Apart from my Damascene experience, I also spent an obscene amount of time with the Women Of Stellenbosch Debating (Calendar appearing soon...), and ended up with a fair amount of juicy gossip, politicking experience (these chicks should run the country, honestly!), and incredibly funny quotes (to follow shortly)... Oh, and the exams have started, yet again...
• November: Right, nothing to report so far. Except for the fact that I saw an old friend from Grahamstown for the first time in a long time, and ended up having an amazing night with her and Hawk. Tash, you are a truly remarkable person (for a woman on the run from the US Government)... Enjoy the wine!!!

Right, so that covers my life, I hope you all feel better now...

And now (drum roll, please), a selection of quotes from my nights spent with the all-powerful W.O.S.D... In order to avoid getting sued, I'll either not name the person who said the quote, or try to give it the proper context...

"I was really shy until grade six, and then I got fat..." - I honestly don't want to know what this means... (maybe she meant PHAT?)

"It's okay, I'm wearing really big panties!" - Anja is weird.

"If looks could kill, I'd be fucked four times over!" - My cousin enrages one of the W.O.S.D.

"I got groped by a lesbian once..." - Yet again, Anja is weird.

"Excuse, but I've given Wits nothing but pleasure." - Our chair loves her little innuendos...

"I so owe him a blowjob by the end of the week..." - Our chair believes in returning favours, apparently.

"So who hasn't slept in Koornhof's bed, honestly?" - I reserve comment on this one.

And many more... All can be found at Fridge Quotes! Check it out...

Right, now for the old traditional ending...

Music Lyric of the day: "I went to church incognito, and everybody rose! The reverend Smith he recognised me, and punched me in the nose!" (Alice Cooper, "No more Mr Nice Guy" - this is the song I listened to non-stop during my breakdown...)

Arb 80's trivia of the day: Madonna has always had that gap in her teeth. She just used to hide it better.

Suggestion of the day: Everyone should, at several points in your life, reassess one's life and try to improve a thing or two. When you do this, please stay away from all sharp objects.

Quote of the Day: "Sorry, he can't talk right now, he's naked and tied to my bed..." (Tash Joseph is a living legend...)

Mixed drinks and mixed signals...

Back at last! The exams are over, most of the marks are in (things didn't go too badly, for a change), and my life can continue hurtling itself on which ever path fate/karma/(Enter deity of choice here) has assigned to me...

Right, so as you can guess, academics has taken up the largest chunk of my time in the past two weeks. Most of that time involved mainlining caffeine and reading textbooks, and getting the occasional hour or two of sleep in at night... The only times we left the house was to actually physically write tests, with the one exception being me having dinner with an old friend who's back in the country for a while. That’s it. Boring, I know. So, now that i've essentially summated my life of the preceding fortnight, let us continue and focus on what happened AFTER the exams ended...

Last Wednesday was a welcome change to the monotony that my life had become up until that point. By eleven o’ clock the pens were down, the books we’re closed (until the next time, that is), and the first beer was opened. After driving through to Cape Town to have a well-deserved celebratory lunch, plans were made for the evening, in order to ensure the deepest possible impact made on town and to reclaim the social lives that were so rightfully ours. However, as my luck would have it, my flatmate failed a subject, decided to go drown his sorrows, and subsequently forgot that he had to take one of his mates to the airport the next morning. This resulted in my night getting dramatically cut short, and having to wake up at 5 o’ clock (why, oh why, does it always have to be the red eye???).

My leaving early turned out to be a bit of a blessing in disguise, seeing as how events that transpired that night would have mentally scarred me for life (two of my friends ended up scoring, and both are pissed off at me due to this, though for different reasons… Go figure!)… Thursday was spent (for everyone but me) in a wonderful post-hangover glow, and most of the day was spent eating pizza, drinking ginger beer (works almost as well as cream soda for that mushy feeling your brain gets…) and watching corny 80’s horror movies (Chucky is a legend!). The day was cut short by a power outage (yes… they’re back!!!! Dum dum dum…), but luckily came back on just in time for pub quiz. Unmotivated (we had missed the previous week’s round due to exams, which effectively put us out of running for the grand prize) and undermanned (there was only three of us instead of the usual 8), we managed to pull off a minor miracle won decisively for the first time in over a month. As can be expected, celebration and merriment ensued…

Friday I was greeted with the hangover I didn’t get, but apparently deserved (karmically speaking), from Wednesday night, and all plans that involved moving were subsequently dropped from the schedule until further notice… Honestly, I have no idea what I would do with myself were it not for take-aways and entire season dvd-collections of the West Wing. After hours of intense planning and strategy (no consultants were harmed, mind you), I finally made the move towards getting up just long enough to drag my carcass to the bar so that I could watch the opening match of the World Cup…

Upon arriving at the bar, I found that it had been invaded by, of all things, actuaries (yes!). Turns out the flatmate had invited some friends over, and several (bad… BAD!!!!) jokes about the probability of Germany losing (and the risk management of betting pools) later, I had already decided to kill myself with brandy. Don’t get me wrong, these people were all very friendly and (amazingly) sociable, but there’s still something weird about ten (mostly single) twenty-something guys in one room who all send off a ‘happily married and almost retired’ vibe… After having established a pretty strong buzz, I was keen for a bit more of the same ol’ same ol’ (I never learn…) and hit the town.

The town ended up being pretty quiet for a Friday, but just as I was ready to call it a day, I was called (by the Prins of Mayhem himself…) to join him at The Upper Level (the new swanky part of the old Drunken Springbok pub) to watch Fokofpolisiekar (an incredibly talent local punk band who sings exclusively in Afrikaans, for the people who don’t know). Funnily enough, due to the fact that I was in several schools in my life (LONG story for another day), I actually went to school with three of the band members at one point in time. What was even funnier is that they all remembered me and greeted me on sight (yes, it does feel cool being me sometimes…). Needless to say, the rest of the night became completely derailed when the lead guitarist and I tried to kill each other with Stroh rum and Sambuca… Nevertheless, it’s definitely fun not having to pay for drinks and getting women who actually hit on you! Maybe I should dust off the old guitar (I can imagine a thousand people holding their breath at this very moment)…

Saturday was spent spring cleaning the flat, the bar (and certain parts of my car, thanks to rockstar excess…), and a generally relaxed day was held by all. We invited the squad going to debating nationals around for a party, and amidst the soccer and the company a merry time was had by all. The following morning I awoke stiff and covered with bruises due to the fact that I had tried to, among other things, breakdance and put my legs behind my head… On both accounts I failed, though came closer than I thought possible for me!

Right, so that concludes my account of the four drunk days après mon examen. Currently, I am at home slowly but surely recuperating from the self-inflicted torture my liver has had to endure, watching soccer (a recurring theme for the next couple of weeks), eating biltong (it’s that time of the year…), drinking tea, and doing everything I didn’t have time for during the past semester (i.e. watching movies and reading a ton of books).

The one problem with staying at home for extended periods is the fact that someone will eventually figure out that I have more free time than them. In fact, since I wasn’t hiding my non-activity well enough, the entire family has been trying to exploit me around every corner… At the moment, I’m running around for my dad fetching wine, cooking for my mom when she’s not in the mood, and helping my sis study for an online psychology course she’s taking (clearly the whole summer holiday in winter doesn’t work that well for her…).

Oh well, that’s enough for now… Join me next time for a rant (yes, I think it’s about time) about mid-winter, and the Body Mass Index scale…

Until then…

Music Lyric of the day: “You may be right! I may be crazy! But I just might be the lunatic you’re lookin’ for…” (Billy Joel, You may be right)

Arb 80’s trivia of the day: Weirdly enough, the most successful NBA basketball team of the decade was the Boston Celtics.

Suggestion of the day: Next time you’re at a restaurant, or want to cook something nice, try something you’ve never tried before.

Quote of the day: “Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” (Ernest Hemingway)

10 Points behind...

To start off, I stumbled upon one of the greatest websites ever!!! It's a parody of 80's culture, done in a really neat way...

www.homestarrunner.com

Everyone loves the Homestar Runner... He is a terrific athlete!

It's the first week of the exams, I've only had to write one subject so far, and it was by far the most annoying thing I've had to endure the entire week - Somewhere between condescendingly easy and soul-numbingly boring (I think I just made up those two words, but oh well...). However, as of tomorrow, the exams start heating up... So, for the sake of every living thing in this world and Betelgeuse, I will not talk about academics...

By far the most interesting thing that happened this week was due to, yet again, pub quiz. It seems my life (and my blog, damn it all...) is starting to fall into this quagmire of routine - drink, play pub quiz, drink some more, study for tests, (you guessed it...) drink again, hand in assignments, yadda yadda yadda... Mind you, at least it's not a completely monotonous schedule, as I have a lot of opportunities (the ones involving drinking, mostly) where I get to meet new people and have weird little adventures, so I'm okay at least.

For the past four weeks, our performance at pub quiz has been average, according to our standards at least. Halfway through the grand championship, we remain squarely in fourth position on the league, ten points behind the current top team, and it's starting to get annoying. If we don't manage to pull a rabbit out of a hat soon, I'll have to resort to much more dirty tactics... After pub quiz, we all decided to go out for a spot of dancing and a (twenty-third) quiet drink to end off the day. Strangely enough, with our luck being as it is, we walked into a bar (good ol' Springbok Pub) which was hosting some guy's birthday party. This particular individual had also had the good nature to subsidise the entire bar, meaning that EVERYTHING was half-price... Needless to say, a fun time was had by all! Later that night, I happened to be introduced to the birthday boy, who freaked out when he heard my name (maybe he knew me in a previous life, or maybe my name just has that effect on people who come from the old Transvaal...) and subsequently bought me drinks for the entire night... Was it not for the fact that he ALSO introduced me to his girlfriend, I would have been seriously worried...

After waking up feeling thoroughly unperky the next day, I proceeded to study for the last part of that damned test. After writing on saturday morning, the entire population of Simonsrust 33 (our flat) went into hibernation, only to wake up for the occasional meal and beverage... A fun, though somewhat lethargic, time was had by all!

Today was one of those particularly weird days, and for which you all need a bit of history in order to fully understand the context. My father was a politician for almost 20 years. In that time, he was on the verge of bankruptcy at least twice, was involved in several landmark court cases (luckily, he never got sued), was the adviser to a former president (and also met several others from abroad), walked next to Nelson Mandela and Tokyo Sexwale on the day they were freed, served in a provincial cabinet, and also managed to score a try on both ends of the field at Rugby School in Wales (the spiritual birthplace of rugby, for those of who are not that familiar to the sport...). Needless to say, he's done a lot of interesting things, and met even more interesting people, through the course of his life. Hell, if he decides to write a book one day, I might even read it (well, definitely the first draft, despite everything the man's grammar and spelling has never been the best)!

One of my father's more interesting friends, Jorrie, is a self-made multi-millionaire whom he met while studying at university. This is a guy who was failing his accounting degree, and who was being kicked out of university, who then promptly walked into the Vice-chancellor's office and refused to leave until he was allowed to state his case. As a sign of the man's tenacity, not only was he let back to finish his degree, but he also attained it Cum Laude the second time around! Also, on his 47th birthday, he rented an entire wine farm for a weekend, along with several chefs and a philharmonic orchestra, so that he could amuse his friends with Frank Sinatra and Elvis Costello covers while they ate 5-course meals! A truly, truly unique individual...

So, now that we've given more than enough context, back to the story. When I woke up this morning to drive through to the folks' place, I was called and given orders to go to Jorrie's place, as we were invited for lunch. On my arrival there (at just before noon), a glass of Moët & Chandon was thrusted into my hand, and the party kicked off properly. After imbibing several bottles of wine (the cost of which I never want to calculate), and eating at least 2 endangered species (PETA supporters, I beg you not to lynch me), we were treated to the musical stylings of one Rocco de Villiers (a South African pianist, essentially our answer to Elton John, though not nearly as famous, for obvious reasons) as he debuted his new album in the living room... A truly fun, truly surreal, day.

Right, I'm off, need to actually do some studying today, unfortunately... Until next time, I leave you with the following:

Music Lyric of the day: "Daar's fokken baie fokkol in Suid-Afrika!" (Koos Kombuis, Fokkol) - Thought it's about time I put an Afrikaans lyric up on the blog... For the people who don't speak Afrikaans, the song (which is brand new, and can be downloaded free on his blog...) is essentially a satire of the state of the nation.

Arb 80's Trivia of the day: In 1982, the United States Center for Disease Control officially renames GRIDS (Gay-related Immuno-deficiency Syndrome) to AIDS, and recognises it as a serious health problem for the world.

Suggestion of the day: Always read the book before seeing the movie.

Quote of the day: "Without wearing any mask we are conscious of, we have a special face for each friend." - Oliver Wendell Holmes (Makes you think...)

Sartrean Hell...

Right, after having posted nothing in 3 weeks, I think I can afford a second one in a week... The exams start on tuesday, and 3 weeks after that I will finally have my freedom! Got most of my preliminary marks back so far, and it seems that the whole academic makeover seems to have paid off to a relative extent... Now all I have to do is make good on the real thing, and my life is a joy.

On Friday, our school class (2001) had our 5-year reunion. Honestly, I didn't understand why anyone would want to arrange a reunion after just 5 years, but I still went (partly as a matter of principle, and partly as an excuse to party). It was quite an informal thing, and a lot of fun! I was amazed to see so many people which I hadn't seen or even thought for the first time in half a decade. It's good to see that I'm not the only one that needs to shed a couple of pounds, and it's even better to see that a lot of people have changed for the better... There are always these guys at school where you can't help but think "Do you not realise what you are doing to yourselves???? WAKE UP!!!" and it's nice to see that some of them actually started figuring things out for themselves. Anyway, enough sentimentalism... We all ended up in De Akker (for those not native to Stellenbosch or South Africa, De Akker is the 2nd oldest pub in the country...) after several rounds of human bowling (you're the ball, and any other objects that can be lined up, be they inanimate or not, are the pins) and way too much brandy. After leisurely, erm, strolling out of De Akker (at roughly 4AM), I had to be at work at the farm by half past eight... Needless to say, I didn't exactly arrive on time, but thankfully it was a slow day and nothing had happened up until then.

Right, so I guess it's finally time to explain the title of the post...

For those of you who are not familiar with the work of French existentialist philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre (and I won't blame you if you aren't), and more specifically his play 'No Exit,' the concept of Sartrean Hell is pretty simple to explain: Hell, seen in the simplest of ways, is other people. More specifically, it is being thrown in a situation which would normally be seen as quite pleasurable, if not for something wrong (be it a state of mind or body, or even a piece of annoying furniture), and having no way to escape from it. How does this relate to my saturday? Well, read on...

The more astute among you might have figured out that doing anything while hungover is not exactly the most fun or the best idea in the world. Being forced to work in a place literally filled to the brim with alcoholic beverages, while having to deal with customers (mostly swedish and german tourists who can't understand english) who refuse to leave (even after you've helped them) even though you technically closed 45 minutes ago, all of the while feeling like there's an elephant trampling on your medulla oblongata, is not exactly what I would call Nirvana...

Right, OK, most of you might have figured out that the above would happen, but you'd never guess how the story ends... Yesterday evening was also my ex-girlfriend's birthday party. A formal event. On a wine farm. Now, I get along very well with this particular ex-girlfriend (we broke it off quite cleanly while still maintaing friendly contact), but the thought of dressing up in a penguin suit only to be marched around at yet another wine farm with some of her friends giving me hateful glances, and while having to endure her other friends constant talk of web designing was anything but alluring. Strangely enough for myself, I spent most of the evening in a corner drinking orange juice (I couldn't torture myself a 3rd night in a row), eating cocktail sausages and talking to her sister. Oh well, go figure...

Drove through this morning to the folks' place for the traditional massive sunday lunch (the extended family had been invited again, this time my dad's side...), a couple of glasses of very good wine (both my uncle and cousin are winemakers, and I felt suitably recuperated), and the traditional weekly rant/debate (this time about stock options, weirdly enough). Always fun... Oh well, now I'm off to go study yet again...

Oh, in other news, apparently a Finnish Heavy Metal band named Lordi, who like dressing up in ridiculous monster suits, recently won the Eurovision song contest with the highest score in the tournament's history... Take that, ABBA!!! Here's a photo of them.



Music Lyric of the day: "The saints are crippled / On this sinners’ night / Lost are the lambs with no guiding light / The walls come down like thunder / The rocks about to roll / It’s the Arockalypse / Now bare your soul!" (From Lordi's Eurovision winning song 'Hard Rock Hallelujah... Weird.)

Arb 80's trivia of the day: Only three artists in music history have had seven or more Billboard Top 10 singles to feature on one studio album, namely Bruce Springsteen (Born in the USA, 1984), Michael Jackson (Thriller, 1982) and Janet Jackson (Rhythm Nation, 1989)... And people say they had bad taste in everything back then! :-P

Suggestion of the day: If you don't know yet, find out what your name means in other languages... Don't make the mistake Tom Cruise made!

Quote of the day: "If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses." (Lenny Bruce) - Think about that for a moment...

Suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune...

I know, I know, it's been a while... But now I'm back, and with a vengeance!

The past three weeks have probably been the greatest test of my academic career up til now, and I am glad to say that I managed to not only survive, but actually make quite a success of it! Great, now that I've successfully stroked my own ego, let's recap what has happened since the last post...

A couple of weeks ago, Stellenbosch was hit by the worst gale-force winds I have seen in my decade of living here. It's awe-inspiring and horrifying to think that one can harness so much destructive energy in mere air, and that so much damage can be sustained in just one night. Granted, these types of winds aren't a rarety in the country, or even the province for that matter, but it kind of makes a massive difference if you live in a place which is a) generally windstill and b) has a gigantic oak tree around every corner. As I was driving to work the morning after. I had to make 3 detours to due logs blocking the road, and when I finally made it to the farm, I spent most of the day clearing up the rubble (a tree fell down on the owner's house, and two in the parking lot) - it was actually quite cool, I got to play around with a chainsaw (a la Jason from Friday the 13th) and lug around heavy objects (my free state genes really shone through...)!

After doing my bit to destroy our forests, I managed to serve one customer during the day... A quaint man, didn't talk that much, kind of chugged everything down within a matter of seconds, then started chatting eventually. Turned out to be the former Welsh rugby coach. Go figure. Weird day in general... Oh well...

Speaking of natural disasters, one of my oldest and best friends arrived in the country recently, after a stint in the United Kingdom. It was both weird and wonderful to see Good 'Ol Deon again: So much had changed, yet so much has stayed the same. Upon first glance he kind of looked like the character from that game Hitman (pale, shaved head, black overcoat, wireframe glasses), apparently he had quit smoking, started drinking less, and also had a spurt of pseudo-religious reawakening - all good things. Yet, still, we reconnected within a matter of minutes, and he was very eager to share his stories, experiences and the reasons behind his redesigning of himself. He's still not out of the dark yet, but he's making massive steps, and I personally think he's on the right track. I'm proud of you, man.

The thing that has seriously been getting me down for the better part of three weeks has been academics. In the past three weeks, I have had no less than four tests, two assignments (one of which is essentially the first draft of a masters thesis...), and an oral exam. Miraculously, after spending more hours in a day studying in stead of sleeping (thank god there is now a place in the Neelsie where you can get free espresso and cappucino...), I managed to get through all with flying colours... Hopefully the nightmares of weirdly mutated lecturers (a la The Hills have Eyes) attacking me with overdue assignments will finally end... Now we just have to wait and see. Incidentally, I've also decided that I'm officially going to do a Master's degree in Law, and have started talking to my lecturers about what would be the best way of going about becoming ridiculously over-qualified.

Last weekend, the debating society attended the annual invitationals tournament hosted by "that other weird place inhabited by Capetonians who don't drink" (UCT for short...). After years of falling about between different partners, Martin Bekker and I (for the people who don't know what I'm talking about, simply skip to the next paragraph...) finally decided to have a shot at speaking with eachother again, in the hope that we can make our great last stand. Not realising how rusty we are (in terms of debating and showtunes...), we made absolute fools of ourselves and ended up breaking to semi-finals in last place (and that's only after one team had to leave early...), so we weren't feeling too positive when we were up against two incredibly strong teams. Strangely enough, to the amazement of all (especially us...), we pulled several rabbits out of a hat (proving the old adages "never piss off a philosophy lecturer" and "don't tell Koornhof about bad governance" - OK, so maybe they're not that old) and managed to be the only Stellenbosch team in the final. The final didn't go too badly, although the topic was horrible (honestly, a bill of rights for animals???? A bit too nice and fluffy...), and we managed to hold our own. It would have been nice to be take the cup home, but Rome wasn't built in a day, and Martin and I will have our vengeance...

For the past four months, I was essentially an only child. And I loved it! Honestly, who doesn't like constant attention, parents buying you lunch and dinner "just cos I haven't seen you enough this week," sending you wine and little extras, and these types of things? Anyway, after finally getting used to this new life and treatment, my sister decides to arrive back in the country from the states. Now, make no mistake, I love my sis and I missed her just as much as everyone else, and I enjoy the constant sibling rivalry, but it was kind of cool having undivided attention and not being blamed for everything that goes wrong... On the other side, she's looking good, doing well in both academics and her sport, and it seems like she's grown up just that little bit more... Maybe one day we'll be able to sit down and talk like rational adults, maybe never, but it's kind of weird and cool to see that the young'un is no longer that young...

Last night we had our traditional celebration of drunken debauchery and even drunker argumentation, that glorious thing we all love (or love to hate): the Stellenbosch Great Beer Debate! After several hours of arguing why Michael Jackson should be pope and hearing why dinosaurs REALLY went extinct (thanks Piet, thanks...), and still retaining the title of Champion Beer Downer (Tom Riley would be proud, I am finally under 2.5 seconds...), I found myself and several others being auctioned off to the, erm, highest bidder... After being bought by a mysterious group of women referring to themselves as "The Coalition," I shudder to think how I will be abused for three hours sometime next week... Oh well!

Right, so that's the end of that, and that's why I haven't had the time to update this bloody thing... Enjoy the rest of the M.M.O.M (merry month of may), and hope to hear from you all as soon as possible!!!

Music Lyric of the day: "If there's a problem, yo I'll solve it! Check out the beat while my DJ revolves it!" (Vanilla Ice, Ice Ice Baby)

Arb 80's trivia of the day: Funnily enough, Big Brother didn't watch you in 1984. At least I hope not...

Suggestion of the day: Phone up an old friend and have a drink with them. Try to re-establish that old bond - you'll find it's quite easy and well worth it...

Quote of the day: "Cogito cogita ergo cogita sum" - I think I think therefore I think I am... (Thanks Kev!)

A missive on missing your misplaced friends

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I miss my friends. I miss you all a hell of a lot.

Last night I received a phone call from one of my best friends at varsity, a man who I seldom hear from these days (due to work pressure, from his side, so I don't blame him in the slightest), and who I haven't seen since January. This is a person who I spent four long years with at varsity, where we managed to drink many litres of red wine (after I taught him how to appreciate the stuff...) and whiskey, talk for days on end about anything but work, and had many strange adventures with. Needless to say, I miss good ol' Dave, and if it wasn't for the fact that his mobile phone is broken and he has no internet connection, we would probably still manage to communicate every day. Still, we try our hardest... The problem is, this little scenario has been acting out more and more over the past couple of months. Being the guy at university that outlives everyone is slowly but surely making an impact (Kev, if you're reading this, I now understand what you meant when we talked about this three years ago...).

Most people can predict where this post seems to be going, every single blogger in the universe has written something about how lonely he/she is... Yes, I miss my friends, we've shared some wonderful moments and now they all have jobs and live in different parts of the country (or the world, for that matter...), Yes, I do wish I could hear or see more of them. Yes, I wish they'd actually all still be at varsity. But, I will not write this to guilt-trip them into phoning or mailing me more, or trying to visit me, or anything like that. I am not such a selfish person. All of them are doing what they are doing because they have to (or want to) do it, because they have goals that must (and will) be attained. I try not to judge my friends, and I like to think they've always extended me that courtesy as well. So, I have decided to write this silly little guide to what you should do when you miss your friends...

First off, remember that these people, if they truly are your friends, are thinking of you, and will try their darndest to stay in touch. If that means a phonecall once in a while, a weekly message, or just an online diary so that people can read what's going on in their lives, at least it's an effort. Some will have the chance to do more, others won't. Accept it. The fact that they try means they haven't forgotten you yet, and probably won't either. Remember, these people probably miss you as much as you miss them...

Second, you will see these people again. Most of the people who go abroad tend to come back, or at least tend to visit on an annual basis. The people in the country are never more than a couple of hours away, be it by car or plane. And everytime you do actually get to see these people, the reunion is so much sweeter and more fun. Plus, one day when we can finally travel via teleportation without being turned into Jeff Goldblum, no one will ever have to worry about the distance of loved ones ever again.

Third, don't be a hypocrite. It's not like you're currently sitting in the middle of the Antarctic manning a weather station. You do have friends around at you at any given time who you can always spend more time with. Think about this: next year, or whenever you leave university, and all your younger friends are still around, you'll be in exactly the same shoes as the people who left before you. How would you like it if these people constantly guilt-trip you for your attention?

Fourth, when people do visit you or get in touch, make the most of the situation... Talk too much, drink too much, make sure you/they leave with at least another two or three stories to tell your grandchildren (once they're older...) about.

Fifth, there is no fifth!!! I'm not bloody Dr. Phil! I don't have all the answers! If I had I wouldn't write them on a blog but in a book so I can get millions in royalties and then visit you all!

Guys, I miss you, and hope you're all doing well. Hope you still have a great time, take care, and come back anytime (and everytime) you get the chance!

Right, so a special themed 'Of the day' for us all...

Music Lyric of the day: "If life is just a highway, and the soul is just a car, then objects in the rearview mirror may appear closer than they are" (Meat Loaf, Objects in the rearview mirror may appear closer than they are)

Arb 80's Trivia of the day: According to Forbes magazine, Cabbage Patch Kids were the most popular toys sold in the 80's. They also had so-called 'evil twins', the Garbage Pail kids (they weren't evil, just filthier), who even got their own TV show and movie. Weird.

Suggestion of the day: Never be ashamed of watching childish, cheesy movies and tv shows, or playing games from your youth. There's nothing wrong with reliving your childhood. I do it at least once a month, it helps keep me sane.

Quote of the day: "Performance enhancing drugs are banned in the Olympics. Ok, we can swing with that. But performance debilitating drugs should not be banned. Smoke a joint and win the hundred meters, fair play to you. That's pretty damn good. Unless someone's dangling a Mars bar off in the distance." - Eddie Izzard

OK, so maybe it didn't have a theme after all... Until next week!

In defense of a cruel month

Isn't April a weird month?

On Monday morning, I rolled out of bed and couldn't feel my toes due to the cold. Needless to say, like a normal, rational human being that's afraid of his extremities dropping off from frostbite, I dressed warmly and went to class. However, sometime during my two-hour stretch of lectures, someone decided to turn the thermostat up by about 15 degrees celsius, and repaint the sky from a decidedly unfriendly off-gray to an almost technicolor blue. To make sure I didn't turn into a human snowman, I quickly ran to the flat to change into something slightly less eskimo-like, only to have the weather turn cold again an hour or so later...

Now, normally I would write off occurrences such as this as a freak thing (Strawberry Spring, and all that), but the problem is that it's now happened three days in a row. And it's starting to annoy me. I don't know whether I should blame Mother Nature, global warming, the american government or the Ewoks (though I doubt it's them, what with them being in a different solar system AND figments of George Lucas' imagination...) for what's going on, but someone has to 'fess up! Oh well, 19 days into the month, and that's the only complaint I have so far...

I've mentioned before that I don't agree with TS Eliot about April being the cruelest month. As a matter of fact, I enjoy April. And I don't understand why some people in fact DO agree with Eliot, even if it means they have to create their own chaotic miasma of crap (be it financial, emotional or otherwise) to dump themselves into simply because it's the fourth month of the year.

April is kind of like that playful child with the weird powers in the Twilight Zone movie - playful, and not exactly malicious, but just a little hurtful at times. It's a time filled with public holidays, family gatherings, massive meals and easter eggs. Yet, due to these things, most people tend to also have overdue work, miss the family and friends they didn't or couldn't see, and be angry with themselves because they destroyed their diet. It's a double-edged blade - there's always a little bit of bad thrown in with the good - but the one edge is decidedly duller than the other. Our own perception determines which side is which.

Revolt, I say, show Eliot that he might be a great poet, but he isn't in charge of our lives!!!

Isn't it wonderful how a rant seems to make you feel so refreshed?

Music Lyric of the day: "Are we growing up, or just going down?/ It's just a matter of time until we're all found out/ take our tears, put them on ice, cause I swear I'd burn this city down to show you the light!" (Fall Out Boy, Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the year)

Arb 80's Trivia of the day: In 1981, Nintendo fails to acquire the license to use Popeye in a new game. In a last minute rush, some sprites and colours are changed, and Mario the plumber (the world's best selling video game character ever) is born. The name of his original girlfriend is actually not Peach/Toadstool, but Pauline.

Suggestion of the day: Drink more wine. It keeps you young.

Quote of the day: "We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give." (Winston Churchill)

For the non-believers: Proof that Michael Bolton did sing in a heavy metal band...

On rejection, further education and the Easter Bunny

Right, here I am again. After having been stuffed the entire weekend (family lunches, dinners, teas, and whatnot... My god, these people eat more regularly than hobbits, and I love it!), I find myself full of energy and totally unwilling to sleep. So I thought it's about time I make a post (seems to be turning into a weekly thing... God help us all.) so that those people who care may be enlightened. Here I go...

Since the last post, I have received a letter from a law firm. And, before you ask, it's not exactly of the "Oooohhh, we love you and want to have your children so that they can also work for us one day" variety. Now, make no mistake, I do not for one second think I am God's gift to anything (except maybe 80's music trivia...), and most people tend to get rejected once or twice before they actually get a job, but I was hoping that I'd be able to get it first time. The fact that the letter was from one of the firms I really, really wanted to work for made it a bit harder to accept as well.

I like to think of myself as someone that deals with rejection well (due to having so much experience at it... Or am I being too self-deprecating?), and I am definitely not going to blame anyone else for my current state of affairs. If there's one thing I hate, it's making excuses where they're not needed or wanted. No one ever seems to think that the fact that they screwed up in the interview, or that their academics could have been better played a significant role in why they weren't chosen. I know where my faults lie, and I try to use experiences such as these to make sure I can downplay them in the future.

The other day my father made quite possibly the craziest suggestion of his life. Being a lawyer himself, he knows that there is immense pressure on the South African legal industry (among others) to transform and become more diverse among racial and gender lines. OK, so maybe affirmative action does come into play with regards to all of this just a little bit (I'm not going to rant about affirmative action, quite frankly it has a place and I view it as simply another variable that has to be dealt with while job hunting... Refer to the above paragraph). Anyway, back to the story. In an unusual display of deductive logic, my father asks me this simple question: If I seemingly have difficulty getting a job at a traditional law firm (due to the fact that I'm pale and male and they still need to transform), then why don't I simply apply to firms that don't have this particular issue (i.e. black empowerment law firms)?

Now, far be it from me to point out the incredible irony that a Koornhof is considering becoming a token white guy (for any of you that know anything about South African history, you'll understand what I'm going on about...), but the above-mentioned idea, as bizarre as it may seem, is actually quite brilliant. So, there I go, sending off a bunch of applications yet again (this time to up-and-coming 'black' firms). Already things are looking quite promising, but that's all I'm going to say for now, because I have no intention of jinxing my second chance as well...

In between the time I got the first letter and my dad having his odd-ball idea, I started seriously considering what to do if I didn't get a nice, semi-decent paying job. Slowly but surely my thoughts started wondering to the prospects of further education. Now, I have always had this morbid fantasy of getting a Ph.D so that one day, if and when someone needs a doctor (let's say on an airplane or at an opera, or some place else melodramatic...), I could walk up to the person in question, give him a thorough examination, and then ask "Son, do you have a last will and testament, or would you like me to draft you one right now?", and then go on about my merry way; for the first time in my life, this seemed to be a distinct possibility... After having to think long and hard whether I would put myself through the experience of another year at varsity (five years is long enough, and a sixth one would be quite lonely, seeing as most people have already left...), I decided that I would be willing to pursue an LL.M (I might have to wait a couple of years for that Ph.D, though). If that turns out to be the case, this is a pre-emptive request for all of my friends who will (hopefully) be working next year to look me up and buy me tons of drinks (the positive karma you will receive will more than make up for the money spent...)

Lastly, I want to wish everyone a wonderful Easter. Whether you celebrate it for religious or chocoholic reasons (or, in my case, probably both...) I hope you all have a great time to reflect and relax with family, friends, loved ones and the rest...

Right, as promised, here are you're "Of the days" for the week:

Music Lyric of the day: "The Colgate Invisible Shield finally got 'em!" (Alice Cooper, Generation Landslide)

Arb 80's trivia of the day: Michael Bolton's (thesedays very rare, for obvious reasons) first album was actually heavy metal.

Suggestion of the day: Try not judge or think about people based on their first impressions, age, gender, race, or what they study, but rather who they are. As difficult as this may seem, if you can pull it off, you might just be able to treble your circle of friends within a year, and you will have WAY less issues in relationships.

Quote of the day: "We all go a little mad sometimes." (Anthony Perkins as Norman Bates, Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho)

Before I go, I promised to post this... There you go, Tim!

Electrical storms and pub quizzes...

Don't worry, everything will become clear as this inane little post progresses...

I am currently sitting at work. For those of you who actually might have accidentally stumbled on this blog, I am probably the only person to NOT bitch about my work. Why? Simple. I work at the only place on the planet where drinking on the job is actively encouraged - a wine farm. Every bottle I open, I have to taste (company policy). Every time there's a function, I get to drink other people's wines for free. Every day when I come to work, I leave with wine at the end (you can't let good stuff go to waste). And I even get paid a decent wage (decent for a student doing this on a part-time basis, I even get commission during peak season...). Bliss.

Anyway, here I am, glass of bubbly in hand, slightly hungover after last night, and getting slightly pissed (hair of the dog works well for me) while I'm waiting for people to show up to sell wine to... So I've decided to regale you all with a retelling of my week's experiences so far...

On Monday, I witnessed an electrical storm. A proper one, complete with thunder, lightning, that fizzy feeling in the air, tons of rain, gale force winds, and general chaos. It was GREAT! Maybe it was just the fact that I was watching Metallica's 'Cunning Stunts' DVD, or the fact that I had consumed about half a bottle of whiskey at that point, but it made me feel all young and cuddly inside. It reminded me of the storms we had back in Swellendam when I was a child, where you'd be scared out of your wits, and sometimes be woken up from a lightning blast that was so close that it actually illuminated your room. What was precious about these storms is it brought you face to face with your own mortality (an exhilarating experience even at that age), while at the same time it brought with it a celebration of life. The following day the entire town would always be awash with colours from all the plants suddenly waking up and seeping in the nutrients. Beautiful.

As it turned out, the following day was in fact very vibrant with colour, but considering a hungover man only wants to see in black and white, I was not so appreciative of my surroundings as I was when I was small...

Tuesday and Wednesday was spent doing absolutely nothing. I stayed in bed, ate take-out, played PC, watched movies, and was an absolute slob. Nothing much happened then, unless you call the fact that I watched an entire season of "My name is Earl" and designed 2 'Classic' holes in SimGolf achievements...

On Thursday we took part in that most prestigious of pastimes, the pub quiz. I've also noticed that this is probably the one thing all of my friends have in common - we all tend to take part in pub quizzes, no matter where in the world they are... I guess you're never too old or desperate for free food and booze... For the past couple of weeks, we've been constantly slogging at the quiz, winning a round every now and then, and managing to get a respectable third most every week (apart from the one time we came second, and the one time we came fourth... I guess it evens it out...). The biggest problem with the quiz is that it takes place on a thursday, which means we never make it on time due to debating and only play about 5 out of 8 rounds on average... This week, however, due to the study break, we had a fully rested, relaxed and eager team, and actually managed to be there from round one... Needless to say, we cleaned up, managed to win free rounds of drinks five times out of eight as well, and now I have a voucher for a romantic dinner for two (or one above par piss-up with snacks...) courtesty of the Black Bull, Stellenbosch. Life is good...

Right, before I leave, I've decided to add an "Of the Day" section, so here goes:

Music Lyric of the day: "Can I play with madness, and stare at its crystal ball?" (Iron Maiden, Can I play with madness)

Arb 80's trivia of the day: Andrew Ridgeley was the other guy in Wham!

Suggestion of the day: Try eating a sheep's head at least once in your life. Don't worry, it's dead, and it's technically therefore not staring at you. Just make sure a certified guild member cooks it. I recommend the meat in the cheeks.

Quote of the day: "What you are is what you have been, and what you will be is what you do now" - The Buddha (I thought it should be a deep one that relates to "My name is Earl" - cool series, seriously...)

If you have any suggestions for "Of the Day" feel free to drop a comment...

Study Break...

Right. It's been six days since the last post, and things are decidedly better off. The essay draft is in (now I just need to get the essay itself done...), all my tests are over for now. On Friday the first term officially ended for us, and I decided to give myself a couple of days to recuperate away from students and the likes thereof...

After a decidedly relaxing weekend spent eating various foods (most of which I can't pronounce) and drinking various substances (most of which I can't remember) at my parents' place, I am on my way to good ol' Stellenbosch. I am still waiting for my rejection letters from law firms (no news is good news, for now...), and for the time being I'm going to spend my days leisurely working on things I'd like to finish before the new term (such as The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion, and the new Terry Pratchett...).

They say that April is the cruelest month. I tend to disagree. The month that normally doesn't like me is March (with August hot on it's heels), considering it's the time of year that I'm always single, broke, overworked, and don't seem to get to spend enough time drinking and socialising in general. Already things are better. I've managed to spend time with my family & friends, have a couple of really nice meals, get horribly drunk (and not have a massive hangover), sort out my finances (well, at least I'm not AS broke anymore...), and that's just in the first three days so far! In April, things just seem to cut me some slack. I don't know why, it just happens, and I'm not going to jinx it by trying to find out why I'm not being karmically screwed over like everyone else around me... Sometimes you should just be thankful. Here's to a great month (hopefully)!!!

Down the path I wander (wonder?) anon...

Oh God...

I've done this before. It was a bad idea. Back when no one did this type of thing, I was a blogger. I also drank much more then, weighed much less, had no degree, and wasn't constantly worrying about whether or not I would have a job by next year. I quit doing this after actually devoting six months to writing a quasi-biographical fictional tale dubbed "80" (Everyone who knows me, try guessing what it was about...), and now I'm about to do it again. Well maybe things won't turn out as bad as last time. I hope...

Right, so here I am, sitting in the library of Stellenbosch University, trying to write a godawful essay on the history and application of legal comparison in our courts while trying to maintain my sanity. I've found exactly eleven cases over the past 12 years which are of any significance to my field of focus (unjustified enrichment), which means that I am going to have a VERY long night... Either I'll have to lengthen the time-frame of the study, or I'll have to get an entirely new field of focus... FUN FUN FUN!!!! Aaaaarrggghhh!!!

Oh well, that was my first entry in almost 3 years. Short, meaningless, and somewhat quizzical. Glad to see I'm still on form...

More rantings (hopefully longer, funnier and more sensible) to follow shortly...